Introductions and back story

This is the "who am I" post. As previously stated, I am a special education teacher and I live in Florida. I am happily married to a great guy. We have 3 cats and 2 mini schnauzers. Those are the basics. The back story is a little longer and harder. My hubby moved down here from Tennessee in September of 2007. I remained in TN for the rest of the school year and came down here June 2008. Around Thanksgiving we decided to try and get pregnant. I was so excited!! I have always wanted children, but wanted to wait until I was ready - married, stable etc. We found out around December 15 we were indeed pregnant. I was completely thrilled. I could hardly wait to tell the world, but I controlled myself. I confirmed the pregnancy with the doctor and we told our families on Christmas Day. We were all so happy. After my 8 week appointment, I told my friends and people at work. Things went along fine for a while. I began to gain weight, and I loved every minute of it:) On April 1, we went for our anatomy scan. I was exactly 19 weeks, and hubby came with me, both of us so eager to discover the sex. We found out we were having a boy, but we also discovered that our little boy had a serious illness called hydrops fetalis. We were devasted, and even more so after looking it up online and reading as much as we could about it. I was monitored often, and Liam (our little baby boy) continued to grow. We were hopeful - if we could make it to around 36 weeks, then perhaps something could be done. On Memorial Day Weekend we went into the hospital worried about reduced fetal movement. They kept me all weekend and continued to monitor us both, and things were okay. No change in his condition, but his heart was strong and he was moving around. They told me I couldn't feel as much because of all the fluid around him, and the extra amniotic fluid I was carrying. Two weeks later I was back upon my Dr.'s recommendation. They monitored me and released me again. I went to my next appointment on June 11. I told them he wasn't moving as much, or I couldn't feel it, but his heart beat was still strong. On June 13 we moved house. We needed a bigger place so we could have a nursery. On June 15 I went to my next appointment and received the most devastating news I could ever think of. Our little boy was gone. There was no heart beat. I have to admit I wasn't shocked, but I felt like I was in the middle of a nightmare. I had no idea how to deal with this. Yes, I'd considered this possibility, but there is no preparing for this. One of the reasons I started this blog is to talk more about this whole experience. So many thoughts pop into my head. Another reason I've started this blog now is because my original due date was this coming Wednesday. I didn't think I'd have a problem with it, but I have been thinking so much about Liam these last few days. Perhaps this will help me through this time.
So this is the back story.


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What I've Read

  • Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
  • The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
  • The BFG by Roald Dahl
  • James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by J.K. Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by J.K. Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K, Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J.K. Rowling
  • Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling